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Strangest Comment On Your Needlework
Tue, May 8, 2007 9:06 PM
Posted by Jennifer
I always get the nicest comments and helpful and polite suggestion from my fellow Cyberstitchers. But the "real world" can be a cruel place. What is the strangest comment (good or bad) that you have gotten on a cross-stitch project? I showed a recently completed design to a non-stitching friend at work and her comment was "Wow, you must have a lot of time on your hands." I don't know if this wa a compliment on the number of hours put into the project or an insult that I was lazy and sat around all day doing nothing but cross-stitch!
  • Reply from Barbara
    Wednesday, May 9, 2007 4:31 AM
    Most of the the real-life comments I've received (not from close friends or family) have been unintentionally hurtful - lots of 'you must have a lot of time' and 'that's an old-lady hobby' and even comments along the line of, 'well, that's nice, but couldn't you have just bought it someplace more easily?'

    It made me ashamed of my hobby! I'm so happy to have met so many wonderful people online who love cross stitching and what goes into a project that makes it so special.

    Barbara Go to top

  • Reply from Nancy in PA
    Wednesday, May 9, 2007 10:29 AM
    So I'm not the only one who gets these comments (and the oddly worded little
    "thank you") from time to time ? I'm somewhere between chuckling as I
    empathize with you and, at the same time, feeling discouraged that people can
    so easily disparage another person's efforts.
    BUT it's great that we stitchers understand and support each other so very well
    and that we have some wonderful ways to be in touch with each other such as

    Go to top
  • Reply from Rose
    Wednesday, May 9, 2007 9:17 PM
    I did a very large pix of the states. Each square has something in it that pertains to the state. I live in Wisconsin. My neighbor, a non stitcher, just had to notice that the cow leg in Wis was one stitch short compared to the others! ;-( Go to top
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    Reply from Rose
    Wednesday, May 9, 2007 9:21 PM
    Comment to Jennifer:
    If you do not want email replys you probably should leave your email blank when posting. Go to top
    • Reply from Jennifer
      Friday, May 11, 2007 8:06 PM
      Hi Rose,
      It's odd you should mention the e-amil reply thing. I certainly don't mind getting e-mail replies from people at Cyberstitchers. Have you had problems in the past? I did get one rather "interesting" e-mail that was not posted here. I suppose I should be more careful. Go to top
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    Reply from Busydebbie
    Friday, May 11, 2007 8:21 PM
    The strangest comment came from what I thought was a fellow Christian. We had just completed a class together, and I was handing out Bible markers that said: Life is Fragile Handle with Prayer to the female classmates. Well she looked at the marker and she said, oh, I use to do this when my kids were young, oh I think that I had this old pattern, then she said that it wasn't very valuable. It didn't surprise me when the lady and her husband resigned from eldership from the church. Go to top
    • Reply from Jennifer
      Sunday, May 13, 2007 8:13 PM
      I guess she didn't even take the advice given on the bookmark! It is a shame people don't think before they speak, feelings are fragile too. What if she had made a cake for the classmates and you had said "Hey, I've had this cake before...same old recipe I used years ago and mine tastes better anyway". Go to top
  • Reply from Rose
    Friday, May 11, 2007 8:43 PM
    I received an email response from you and tried to reply. It asks that I fill out a request to be added to your "accept list". I consider this a nuissance and delete such emails. So, you will have to read this reply here since I can't email you. Go to top
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    Reply from Judi
    Monday, May 14, 2007 5:54 PM
    Just yesterday a lady asked "Do you just sit around and watch t.v. and do that?" another woman asked me recently "Why would you spend so much on a picture when you could just buy one?" Needless to say they won't recieve x-stitch gifts from me. Judi Go to top
    • Reply from orion
      Wednesday, July 4, 2007 6:00 PM
      Yep...tell them...all day long...I started doing Christmas ornaments for Craft fairs with my Painting class friends when I had my knee replaced...cross stitching at that point..saved my sanity..made the time pass it... Go to top
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    Reply from tonna11
    Friday, May 18, 2007 11:08 AM
    Its odd, but I belong to another x-stitch community and we have been discussing the odd behaviour of others concerning our works. I became unable to work a few years ago and my cross stitching expanded to really large,involved, tapestry stlye pieces-like the ones at golden kite. At the same time, everyone around me started demanding that I do one for them without offering to reimburse me for the materials. I did a really large, involved piece at the request of a person and after 3 weeks of 8 hour days on it, gave her the finished work. She barely glanced at it and said "oh, I didnt think it would look like this, I dont think I can use that. How hard would it be to change the color scheme?" This piece was roughly 28inchesx20inches. I could have cried. When I explained that changing the colors comes before the stitching, she became angry and our friendship ended. The piece was given to a family member who was thrilled and still has it hanging in a place of honor. I have had alot of aquaintances pull out a picture (not a chart) and ask me to "stitch it up quick" for them, as if it could be done in an evening!!!Its like a cold slap in the face when we put so much time, effort and love into our pieces only to see that they are not valued by others around us. I also knit, and the knitting community has alot of cutely named guidelines like a "knit-tractual contract" and most wont knit for anyone but another knitter or a close family member so they dont encounter these reactions. I think that cross stitchers should have the same, to prevent such hurtful remarks from being said. When others comment on a piece I'm working on, thats not a gift for them and just a random hurtful comment, I usually reply that its a good thing I'm not making it for them, or that next time I'll be sure to ask for their input before choosing a hobby/craft/project that they dont approve of. That usually ends the comments and opinions right there. I am sure your works are lovely, and deserve alot better than the comments made by the ignorant--we all think its wonderful!!!! Go to top
    • Reply from Jennifer
      Thursday, May 31, 2007 8:06 PM
      tonna11, very insightful comments. Thank you for sharing your experiences, even though they were painful to you. My mother, who is an avid and talented knitter had a similar experience. She knits the very complex cable patterned Aran style sweaters. She sells some of her work at craft bazaars (notorious for odd buyers with even more odd comments). A woman looked at all of her sweaters, handling each one over and over while munching on a cookie at the same time. She compared a sweater with a colorful buterfly knit on it and an Aran sweater. She pulled at each one, stretching out the waste and then the sleeves. "These are both the same size, so why is that biege one priced higher? It's only made of one color" Go to top
  • Reply from Card Stitcher 60
    Monday, June 4, 2007 4:11 PM
    I usually share my finished projects with others who enjoy stitching and those who don't stitch but appreciate receiving finished pieces. The strangest comment I received is, "Why do you waste your time? Don't you have something better to do?" I smile and say, "No! You have no idea how exciting this is...the art of planning, counting, reading, imagining, the movement of the needle, the thrill of each stitch progressing to a finished piece, the sheer joy of creativity, the colors, the feel and handling of quality fabric"...I could go on and on, but you stitchers know what I mean. Go to top
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    Reply from orion
    Wednesday, July 4, 2007 5:57 PM
    How about...did you do this by hand? Well, duh...guess so. Go to top
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      Reply from Mary
      Sunday, July 22, 2007 5:44 AM
      I must admit I hate some of the comments I get when showing people my needlework!

      If the person does a lot of crafts, they can usually appreciate the effort, but that's not always the case - my mother (who is an avid sock knitter and ought to know how much work it is)usually tells me "how horribly fussy/bothersome/complicated that is " and that she couldn't do that...recently she even went so far as to say, "Well, but once you're done, what do you do with it; i mean you can't sell it!?!"
      That was really hurtful, like I could do nothing "better" than stitching and since that doesn't earn me a living, it would be worth nothing!...grrrrrr
      If i had made such a remark about her socks not being worth anything, she'd have ripped me apart!
      Guess I should make such a guideline thing, too...:-)

      Go to top

      • Reply from RVgrammy
        Wednesday, August 1, 2007 8:50 PM
        Comments on my finished product haven't been hurtful....some out of ignorance of how much time it takes to complete....but, I take it in good humor as stitching is my stress release....My father-in-law who is 76yr. calls it "poking holes" now that's the family reference to my know I do it for my own enjoyment and give my projects as gifts to family and close friends...they appreciated it and know how much love and time goes into it...I have had many craft hobbies, knitting, crochet, quilting, ceramics, etc.....but now that we are on our 4th year of being full-time RVers...where space is at a premium....cross stitching is my craft of choice......sorry I've rambled on....just wanted to add my 2 cents.... Go to top
  • Reply from Linda M
    Sunday, August 19, 2007 12:09 AM
    Next to stitching, I just love coming on here and seeing the finished x-stitching.

    Some people just don't get it. My strangest remarks were, "That must be so boring just making X's. All you do is make X's ?" "You don't work so what do you do just sit around and stich?"

    I met a lady recently who said she use to cross stitch when her kids were young and she stayed home with them. This lady just moved in town and was visiting a friend of mine. My friend brought her over thinking we would have something in common. I thought oh goodie a new friend to share stitching with. We are middle aged and she told me you can only have so many x-stitched things. I disagree, the more the better. She told me to quit stitching and get a job. I found her very rude on lots of topics. Needless to say I didn't become friends with her. Go to top

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    Reply from Roselind A Berry
    Sunday, September 7, 2014 4:00 PM
    Many people say hurtful things. Some are merely ignorant and don't know how hurtful they are. Othere evidently MEAN to hurt; I figure that most of these need our prayers because they are hurting. Generally, we can dismiss the various less-than-complimentary things people say. Great artists in every medium have been underappreciated, even insulted. Some of the most valuable and successful works have been rejected by experts, many times over! I used to have a list of authors whose best-selling works were rejected repeatedly by publishers; I just have to figure the publishers who rejected the eventual best-sellers must have been angry with themselves when they saw someone else getting rich or famous later. Be honored to be in the same category as the greatest of the greats of every medium. Go to top
    • Reply from NANCYE G
      Monday, September 8, 2014 10:32 AM
      This string of posts made me giggle. Thanks -- I really need that today.

      I especially love the comment that the cow leg was one stitch off. Who really notices stuff like that? Maybe another stitcher who would appreciate the uniquenss of that particular piece. I almost always change something. That way my work is never exactly like someone else. Go to top

  • Reply from Pamn Ravenscroft
    Sunday, October 12, 2014 1:14 PM
    Hi Everybody, Pamn here.

    The strangest comment I ever received came from my (then new) late husband. It was definitely a case of "consider the source." I stitched a tiny little wedding sampler from Sweatheart Tree called "United in Love". I intended to finish it as a (miniature) bell pull--it is only about 6 inches long. My husband was incarcerated and we couldn't take things like that in at visiting, so I left it "unfinished but completed" and carefully rolled it up in my pocket like a hankie. Dan had no clue about what my stitching was about, but he did know it was "my thing". When he saw it he said, "Oh, my God! That is beautiful, it looks like it was done with a machine!" Most people would have hurt feelings from that comment, but I realized that from him that was a compliment of the highest order. I can still see the look of wonder on his face when he said "like it was done with a machine". That is one of the precious memories of have of him. Dan loved computers and neat precision, so this was indeed a compliment.

    Live long and prosper, Pamn. Go to top

  • Reply from dfc
    Monday, October 13, 2014 4:18 PM
    Ladies, if we like what we do, if we value what we do, then comments mean nothing. I cross stitch because I like to, not because of what anyone else thinks or says. As we go through life, we learn that we are not here to please everyone, right? Go to top
  • Reply from Elli
    Sunday, November 16, 2014 2:53 PM
    This is not about strange comments but would like to share anyway. Back (way back) when my sister's and y children were babies Judi (my sister started x-stitching an ocean beach scene with young children playing in the sand. I have no idea what brand now. She changed a little here and there to "personalize" each child to represent each of our combined five. By the time she finished the fifth, our five were having children. (she did others projects in between) Now she needed to add eight more! It may never get framed but we do so enjoy taking it out and reminiscing about our babies. I hope her hands last long enough for the next generation. Go to top
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    Reply from Tiff
    Thursday, December 4, 2014 4:25 PM
    Being 25, I usually get from people my age or younger: "No one does that anymore." / "My grandma did things like that" / "My girlfriend did that for a while and got tired of it." / "You must not have much to do."

    Older people I usually get: "This is good, I'm glad someone like your age is interested in this." / "I don't usually see many young people cross stitching." / "I thought all young ladies just knitted or crocheted" / "Its beautiful! I'm so glad someone like you does this!

    Go to top

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      Reply from NANCYE G
      Friday, December 5, 2014 8:39 AM
      That made me giggle. Don't let it bother you. If someone says Grandma did it or my friend gave it up -- ask what happended to her (his) supplies. There may be some goodies hidden in the basement that they don't know what to do with. Go to top
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        Reply from catt422
        Monday, December 15, 2014 2:35 AM
        Now THAT made me giggle! Go to top
        • Reply from NANCYE G
          Saturday, December 27, 2014 7:28 PM
          I crocheted yarmulkes for my son's Bar Mitzvah in 1986. (now I am sewing some) One of the Sisterhood ladies talked me into making some for a holiday craft show later that year. I made about 100 of them. I was asksing $8 apiece. One of the shoppers acted very interested. Then she told me that the price was too high and had the nerve to ask me for my pattern so that she could make her own. I refused! Go to top
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    Reply from luanne
    Monday, January 12, 2015 9:57 AM
    i recently attended a needle work group and took along a project that I was working on. It was quite complicated and a lot of work had gone into it. I know the backs of my work are far from perfect but this was being done for myself and I didn't expect anyone but me to see the back once it was framed. I showed it to a member of the group and her comment was "Let me see the back" no mention of the picture or the work that had gone into it. When I showed it to her all she said was "Oh" and went back to her quilting. Needless to say I was hurt and didn't attend another meeting of that group. Go to top
    • Reply from NANCYE G
      Wednesday, January 14, 2015 9:26 AM
      I am sorry that your feelings got hurt. People need to think. Try going another time. You should not deprieve yourself on what could be an enjoyable experience because of one rude remark. I am amazed at how many times I've gone to a new group of any kind and people don't say anything unless I speak first. Give the group another try. Don't take a complicated piece to work on. There are too many distractions Go to top